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Help! I'm a Gay Christian Print E-mail

Thanks for being willing to help me. Here's the deal:

I'm 18 and I've known for a while now that I'm gay. Yep, GAY!!!!! But I'm also a Christian, and those two don't usually mix well. I don't have a boyfriend or anything. The problem is I don't know whether I should accept my nature and try and be both a Christian devoted to others and God who just happens to like men, or to fight my nature and be alone for all my life.

What is your opinion on gay people? What do you think?

1. The world tells you that you have two choices: Accept that you're gay and find a way to be a gay Christian even though the Bible says not to, or be alone and lonely forever. I would suggest those choices are a lie.

You can't glorify God in gay relationships, especially sexual relationships. Sex was created (among other reasons) to show us what "unity within diversity" is, so we can see a physical demonstration of the unity of Christ and the church. Just as Jesus is very different from us (the church) as His bride yet the two become one, God-glorifying sex can only be between two very different (i.e., male and female) people who become one. The very biology of sex shows us that sex was intended to be heterosexual.

2. If God's intention in His creation is holy heterosexuality, then all of us have the capacity for it. That's why there are people ministering to those with same gender attraction (SGA), showing them how to move out of what feels normal but isn't, into heterosexual attraction. It's not fast, it's not easy, but it IS possible. It's about finding ways to relate in a healthy, nonsexual way with other men, and doing it in the power of the Holy Spirit. Which He is happy to give as we abide in Christ. (That's the key, but it's easier to talk about than to live, moment by moment. Nonetheless, that's how others have moved from being strugglers to being overcomers.)

There are a number of websites where you can read stories and get real help, including online message boards for encouragement. Here's a good place to start: Living Hope Ministries. This one has a lot of other sites listed, as well as a web forum where you can find people to talk to.

For a great site with lots of stories that will encourage you, check out Exodus International:

The bottom line is, THERE IS HOPE. You don't have to live with the false choice of either being separated from God because of your sexuality, or alone and lonely because of it.

3. In terms of my opinion of gay people? Well, God passionately loves gay people, so who am I to argue with that? :::smile::: He grieves when men are attracted to men and women are attracted to women, because it means that something went wrong somewhere, whether biology or psychology or whatever. But it doesn't make the PERSON bad!!! I think that the reason gay people are in so much pain isn't because the world hates gays and is homophobic, which is the politically correct explanation you get these days, but it's because something went wrong and it's painful not to be able to relate correctly and healthily to people of the opposite sex.

And God has power to help us with problems like that, even though it's not easy--by ANY means--to change.

4. One last thing. Until their mid-20's or so, some people's sexuality is fluid. It's changeable. Surging hormones can create some alarming and disturbing feelings. It doesn't necessarily mean someone is hard-wired to be gay. That's a good reason not to act on it, totally apart from the moral issue of being sexually active outside of marriage.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

About the Author

Sue BohlinSue Bohlin is an associate speaker with Probe Ministries. She attended the University of Illinois, and has been a Bible teacher and conference speaker for over 35 years. She is a frequent speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Ministries (Christian Women's Connections), and serves on the board and as a small group leader of Living Hope Ministries, a Christ-centered outreach to those dealing with unwanted homosexuality. Sue is on the Women's Leadership Team and is a regular contributor to's Tapestry Blog. She is also a professional calligrapher and the webmistress for Probe Ministries; but most importantly, she is the wife of Dr. Ray Bohlin and the mother of their two grown sons. Her personal website is

What is Probe?

Probe Ministries is a non-profit ministry whose mission is to assist the church in renewing the minds of believers with a Christian worldview and to equip the church to engage the world for Christ. Probe fulfills this mission through our Mind Games conferences for youth and adults, our 3-minute daily radio program, and our extensive Web site at

Further information about Probe's materials and ministry may be obtained by contacting us at:

Probe Ministries
2001 W. Plano Parkway, Suite 2000
Plano TX 75075
(972) 941-4565

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