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Probe Ministries > Q & A: Probe Answers Our Email > Homosexuality Topics > How Do I Show Concern for My Lesbian Co-Worker Without Approving of Her Lifestyle?

How Do I Show Concern for My Lesbian Co-Worker Without Approving of Her Lifestyle? Print E-mail

Hi Sue! I read your questions and answers concerning the topic of homosexuality, but I still have a question.

I work in a public school district. My school district does not recognize same sex marriages, but a lesbian teacher and her partner have recently adopted a baby this summer. This teacher has asked staff members to sign a petition in favor of giving her partner insurance benefits. Her partner has chosen to stay home with the baby and has no insurance (the baby is covered).

A few teachers in my school have chosen not to sign the petition (different reasons: religious, cultural). I did not sign the petition because I do not agree with the lifestyle of homosexuality because of what the Bible says. If something ever happened to this teacher's partner and she needed insurance benefits I would feel terrible.

How do I articulate not agreeing with their lifestyle but caring for the person--and not sounding like a hypocrite? This teacher is starting to confront those who have not signed the petition.

Thank you in advance,

Dear ________,

I don't think it's hypocritical to honestly care about people without supporting them in lifestyle choices you disagree with. This teacher, by confronting those who haven't signed the petition, is not only demanding acceptance but APPROVAL of her lifestyle choice.

Look at it this way; if the teacher were a man with a live-in honey (as Dr. Laura puts it), how would you feel if he demanded that his girlfriend be covered by his insurance?

The thing about lesbian and homosexual relationships is that they cannot produce children naturally; that's one reason they don't qualify as families, and why they shouldn't have the privileges of protection that society gives to families, like insurance coverage. The teacher and her lover have created an unnatural, immoral "family" and now demand that society treat them like a natural family.

So it's not hypocritical for you to remain steadfast in your beliefs. They are in a relationship and a dependency situation that they created. It's nobody's fault if the girlfriend gets sick and needs insurance.

Caring for someone doesn't mean you give in to their demands. It'll be hard and VERY uncomfortable, I know, but you might say something like, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but what you're asking for is running right up against what I believe about right and wrong. I can't support your decision, though I support your right to make it. I'm sorry."

I hate it that you're put in this situation. Arrrggghhhhh!!!

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

About the Author

Sue BohlinSue Bohlin is an associate speaker with Probe Ministries. She attended the University of Illinois, and has been a Bible teacher and conference speaker for over 35 years. She is a frequent speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Ministries (Christian Women's Connections), and serves on the board and as a small group leader of Living Hope Ministries, a Christ-centered outreach to those dealing with unwanted homosexuality. Sue is on the Women's Leadership Team and is a regular contributor to's Tapestry Blog. She is also a professional calligrapher and the webmistress for Probe Ministries; but most importantly, she is the wife of Dr. Ray Bohlin and the mother of their two grown sons. Her personal website is

What is Probe?

Probe Ministries is a non-profit ministry whose mission is to assist the church in renewing the minds of believers with a Christian worldview and to equip the church to engage the world for Christ. Probe fulfills this mission through our Mind Games conferences for youth and adults, our 3-minute daily radio program, and our extensive Web site at

Further information about Probe's materials and ministry may be obtained by contacting us at:

Probe Ministries
2001 W. Plano Parkway, Suite 2000
Plano TX 75075
(972) 941-4565

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